So, im going to write about my exploits in bangalore.. First off, I'd like to thank all the auto drivers for
1) taking me around the city
2) charging me the earth for taking me around ONE city
3) their politeness

Coming to Forum Mall
way over rated. its okay. maybe it wouldnt be so over rated if i had enough money to spend. but i think even if i did, i doubt it would make that much of a difference. Landmark is fine.. McD's is great.. the Food Court is fab.. but the others are meh..
Of course, Nike was fine. The loser (Nishanth) fatso (adarsh) and I walked in.. and we were looking at our respective team's jerseys. I was hanging round the Manchester United section. so this girl and some guy were having an argument. the guy goes "Manchester United sucks" .. Nishanth says "I agree". the guy acknowledges him.. and then the girl says "No they dont." and I said "No they dont"..

and then the girl, who is cute (in case i didnt mention), smiles ..
when a cute girl smiles at you.. you're happy

so otherwise. Forum is over rated


Garuda Mall - didnt get enough time to observe this

Shit Valley - where we play football! Alright! now THIS place is bangalore!!

Bangalore (or.. Bengaluru)

So, left madras at 3 in the morning to reach bangalore at round 6. Air Deccan provides easy service very early in the morning. its a good thing it exists too, otherwise i would be pretty lost.. wouldnt have known what to do.. i came to bangalore to get my applications down to christ and josephs.. have done all that.. now awaiting my CBSE results (damned shit)

the journey here was pretty.. yea.. pretty. i mean, i left madras early morning, so most of the lights were still on there.. mind you, this is like the 3rd time or so im travelling by flight, and the first time in darkness.. so it was kinda cool..

anyway.. the aircraft itself looked like it could be transported back to its real era (probably the 1990's).. anyway.. but i amused myself by looking out at the sprawling city of madras in all its "luminosity"...

while flying though, we had a good looking stewardess, so i was kinda confused as to which direction i should look..... i decided for the 50 50 option.. in the end.. sunrise is magnificent to watch from the air!

anyway, the plane landed and each and every one got out of their seats before they opened the doors.. i was listening to my mp3 player.. so i thought we were asked to get our butts out of there (especiially me, maybe for staring a bit too much).. but i was relieved when the good looking stewardess came back and ordered everyone's butt back into the seat.. everyon sat down..

ive been running around with adarsh and bhavna over here.. im a bit clueless as to WHAT i should do... bhavna is right about my being aimless, but i like it this way.. im sure ill figure out what i want to do when i do my PG (hopefully) ... so i applied for BA courses at Josephs and at Christ.. we'll soon find out which benifits from having me as a student... owe bhavna a lot of thanks.. cause me and adarsh wouldve been quite lost otherwise....

anyway.. colleges apart, i met yatharth and neil.. and got back here (Kamanahalli) right now am at a Sify I way and im so dead tired.. a nightcap a nightcap a nightcap!!!

the most ultimatest poem of all time is typed out below
its gonna kick ogden nash's butt

The Heat

The extreme heat makes me think
"The more I stand outside, the more I stink"

Madras


I've only been here for 4 hours.. and its HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT!

HOT

did i mention

HOT!?

anyway.. so i came here and after breakfast lazed around for sometime watching "Here We Go".. after that went for my bath and realised something.. in this place, anything that comes in contact with the air becomes hot automatically.. i realised this when i turned on the tap.. it was cold water (not really) at first, then it became hot!!
argh

anyway, after which i decided to venture out into the intolerable heat..a brave gesture.. for it is ..

anyway, as I had fixed my mind on it.. here i am, trying to download the loyola form at a cafe.. anyone who's at loyola and reading this.. please note.. i cannot download the form..

but this means.. i have to go to the COLLEGE AND PICK IT UP!! ARGH! THE HEAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TO THE TEMPLE!

Well .. with the arrival of the results drawing closer.. ive decided to become more spiritual, religious and devoted.. so me and Nishanth went off .. off to Guruvayur (for all who're reading.. its a Temple town.. Lord Krishna's remains were buried here).... those who havent been there.. let me tell you

the temple is small... but the complex is big.. so what you get is disaster.. anyway.. we got inside (im not going to go in how).. so we get in.. im sure there are atleast a cool 1500 people in.. and we're all pushing and pulling to get a glimpse of the idol..

Suddenly, nishanth and I feel our (natural) football instincts grow back.. and we shoulder push and rough tackle everyone in sight.. from the 60 year old lady to the 2 month old baby.. we were like Patrick Vieira (Nishanth) and Roy Keane (me) ..........

So we punch and push and get to the Ganpathy temple area (Ganesha for all you northies reading).. and there we push and pull.. and we finally get out...

we get out.....................

and there's a long journey back.. by BUS!..
i hate road journeys. i suffer from motion sickness. this compounded by the fact that the bus driver obviously was a lunatic made me feel worse.. but on the bus journey, me and nishanth discussed some interesting things..

1) Football

I concluded that Manchester United rules and he said Manchester United sucks

2) Girls

Our second favourite topic after football.. he was telling me some rot about devotion and faithfulness and etc. etc. and it brought to mind a saying "im not going to be a slave to them, they're gonna be my slaves".. and i said it out loud

and nishanth bursts my bubble by saying.. "i dont know who you're talking about.."

always great to have a friend to bring you back to reality eh?

3) Why each other sucks

4) Why adarsh sucks

5) Cursing the board exams

6) Football

So, the season's over.. Premier League season that is... and here are my favourite goals



Robin Van Persie
Charlton Athletic versus Arsenal

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pwurf1DGYOM


Paul Scholes
Aston Villa versus Manchester United

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UdP8Qb-VHSQ

Matt Taylor
Portsmouth versus Everton

http://youtube.com/watch?v=40f0JVMKn4A

Michael Essien
Chelsea versus Arsenal

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2QAZI-rtOQ8

Xabi Alonso
Liverpool versus Newcastle United

This one was written in Feb 07

Rain

The first drops hit the earth
And the smell of heaven is given birth

The sky turns grey and darkens in fear
Your awesome power is imminent, I hear

I long for the purity of the rain
To free me of my pain

The sins trapped in me since birth
Take me away, let me leave this earth

When it rains, my heart dances with hope
For liberation, my soul gropes

I pray for it never to end
The darkness makes my soul to bend

I forget my earthly woes and leave
For this insane world I grieve

For those who never look to the skies
Those are the ones with venemous cries

Rob the earth of its beauty
And forget their sacred duty

Look to the skies on a rainy night
Look into the streaks of lightning burning bright

Salvation and hope lie ahead
Not for those who keep the earth dead

And for those who let her be
Divine light, you will see

My version of spiderman. click on each picture to enlarge..

Well.. travelling in a car and listening to metalcore isnt my idea of fun.. throw in the fact that i have motion sickness..

well.. metalcore.. it was 4 against one.. but luckily Cecil's IPod was there.. which i, with my lightning quick reflexes, took from him.. and started listening to Kamelot

I love Kamelot.. i love everything.. from Roy Khan's voice to Youngblood's guitar work.. of course Hareesh doesnt like Power Metal.. he prefers the heavy riffing of Metalcore.. Death Metal.. Thrash Metal.. etc etc.. along with Cecil.. David and Zakaria would listen to anything.. so it didnt matter to them

I cant stand growls.. it gets a bit tedious after a while.. i mean.. i do like a few songs.. (very few)..

but well..... im not too sure ill grow into it either..

Well.. there's a cat outside the door. It (not sure of the gender) is waiting there in the cold. We got back from dinner and its just standing there. Then I got down and i saw it.. and i think "aw.. look at it.. must be cold"..

then it looks at me with its eyes (i know there's no other way it can see) and tells me "TAKE ME IN YOU IDIOT"

I really am tempted to.. but achan says no.. tinuviel (my cat) is bound to get scared and will most likely attack her because of Hobbes (tinuviel's kid)

she gave birth a couple of weeks back.. sadly we lost 3. Hobbes is the only smart one there. She seemed really sad when we took the bodies of the other one's away. Understandable. Mother's concern. In fact, when it came to number 3 she started crying (not literally.. meowing crying).. i felt really sorry for her then..

Hobbes was one chap (im not sure of the gender).. it hangs on to her belly most of the time.. the other buggers had no idea what to do. survival of the fittest i guess..

maybe i can convince mohammad ikka to take the cat outside.

Your Taste in Music:

Heavy Metal: High Influence Hair Bands: Medium Influence 90's Alternative: Low Influence Alternative Rock: Low Influence Classic Rock: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

I could have told you that without doing a dumb quiz!

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it

Scar - Hmm...................... the time I fell down while playing football on the road.. well.. i was playing on the road.. and i get the ball (pretend im ruud van nistelrooy) "Its Ruud with the ball.. he's got past one.. he's clear.. there's no goalkeeper.. he kicks the ball.. and.. he goes through the goalposts.. and the ball follows!"

2. What is on the walls in your room?

err.. posters.. Maiden posters.. two of em.. Ozzy.. Arjen Robben... Hendrix..

3. What does your phone look like.

Its a blue Nokia 2112..

4. What music do you listen to?

Heavy Metal.. lots of Iron Maiden.. Power Metal.. i like Kamelot.. Nightwish.. erm.. thrash metal.. Megadeth, Pantera, Testament......... lots of stuff...

5. What is your current desktop picture?

Francesco Totti sucking his thumb

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

I want to reverse time and be able to watch Maiden perform in Bangalore. I missed it.

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

well.. i DO believe in it.. because its legal in Holland and the Czech Republic.. i think..

8. What time were you born?

11 AM methinks

9. Are your parents still together?

Yup.

10. What are you listening to?

listening to my mum talk on the phone

11. Do you get scared of the dark?
yea.. right..

12. The last person to make you cry?

Iron Maiden.

13. What is your favourite perfume/cologne?

Axe.. very stereotyped.

14. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite sex?

Hair - I want a bald girlfriend. seriously though.. it doesnt matter...

15. Do you like pain killers?

Painkiller? in the singular yes.. a cracking song........ .......... painkillers.. as in the tablets.. well.. if i suffer from some sort of pain.

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

no..

17. Fave pizza topping?

any non veg topping would do.. though i like mushrooms a lot..

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

errm.. chocolate..

19. Who was the last person you made mad?
my mum

20. Is anyone in love with you?

you .. because you're reading my blog.. if you're not in love with me.. you must be insane!

I tag.. karishma (if she's reading).. AJ.. mum.. anil (if he cares to), meera (yes, meera) and.......... anyone who wants to..

Football headlines we'd like to see...

Jose Mourinho Eats Burger

Jose Mourinho allegedly left Stamford Bridge early for a McDonalds to eat a burger. Symptomatic of the decaying relations between Mourinho and Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich is the fact that Mourinho did not invite Abramovich.

Although the contents of the burger are not known, the price is rumoured to be around 100 Million Dollars. Could this be Mourinho's new signing? Stamford Bridge refused comment.

However, when contacted, Jose Mourinho said, "We are good.. so we eat burger.. others drink soup."

Roman Abramovich said, "I feel hurt that Jose ate a burger without inviting me and the rest of the team.."

No Shorts for Number 7!

Sources at Old Trafford said that there arent any shorts that fit United Number 7, Cristiano Ronaldo. Allegedly, a clause in the Portuguese winger's new contract states that he will get all his shorts from a different source than United's sponsor - Nike.

Whether this could be a clue as to Ronaldo's poor eating habits, we do not know.

Captain Gary Neville issued the following statement, "Bollocks".

Fabregas suffers from vision impairment

Arsenal Coach, Arsene Wenger, admitted that Spanish Midfielder Francesc Fabregas suffers from vision impairment. Wenger said on friday night, "Zis is a really big problam for ze squad. Cesc is not able to zee very cleaarly. Zis resulted in him putting ze ball in his own net against Reading at ze Emirates Stadium."

Fabregas is determined to fight off his impairment. The Spanish International said, "Paul Scholes had a problem with his eye sight. I'm not as good as Paul Scholes, but I will try..."

Paul Scholes meanwhile said, "Eh?"

I love trees. I just think there should be trees everywhere. The only problem with trees though are birds. And when birds are on trees. They bombard you with shit!

But Trees are way too beautiful not to be around. I wish I could go around planting trees on the side of the road. But its virtually impossible.
1) It will take a hell of a lot of time to grow (I have no patience)
2) Someone is sure to dump garbage over it.

Its a pity that garbage disposal is one of the main problems in our state. Kerala is very beautiful. Especially during the monsoon season. Its breathtaking. The rains, lightning showers .. the swaying of trees in the distance. Magnificent.

But we have Garbage all round on the road. I mean, tourists STILL visit Cochin even though the garbage problem exists. What will happen if we get RID of all the muck on the street. We're sure to get more tourists. But.. the State Government is stupid. They dont know what they're missing out. They dont know a thing in fact, except how to line their own pockets.

We can beautify this place. Simple steps are all thats required.

1) Dump your garbage in the correct place. Not by the side of the road. Atleast the corporation collects the garbage that you put in the right bins.
2) Plant trees. Look after them. They're beautiful!
3) Be Polite to tourists. Not polite as in go out of your way to help them. Though I see nothing wrong in this. If they ask you for directions.. point them in the right direction, dont give them wrong directions.


Dont fight the system. Its futile. Instead, try and do what the system has been failing to do. Its our city, our state and our country after all. Sure we have a few corrupt chaps as MPs, but we can do better than them for sure.

Its sometimes an advantage being the son of a doctor. However its mostly scary.
As a kid, I've had the privilege of attending MANY a doctors conference (nowadays, I do my best to avoid them). Most of the ones that I attend are "family" events, though I may have attended a couple of doctors workshops or conferences as a volunteer. In this case, I was forced to sit through the entire "I would NOT recommend surgery, however there is a new drug called Phenobarbiton.. which .. blah blah"

The scary thing is. Doctors are your friendly medical aide in the mornings. At Night Time, they change into WILD PARTY ANIMALS! No kidding. I'm serious. They all get drunk on whisky and cheap scotch during such conferences, and EVERYTHING is a mess. A Conference is a good conference when there's whisky. Its worth remembering.

Its pretty scary though. You realise that you've put your life in the hands of this lot! Oh My god! What have I done. I mean.. do you really want a drunk person cracking really bad jokes performing delicate surgery on you (I agree, they're not drunk when they perform surgery, hopefully, but there is that side to them!)?

Cracking bad jokes is a must for doctors. They think its really funny. I have so far had the privelege to meet 2 geniuinely funny doctors. The rest crack jokes almost as bad as mine. Ever heard of the Ophthalmologist who asked his guests if they wanted "glasses".

Next time you go to a doctor, keep your wits about you.

Oxymoron. When I was a kid, i thought it was an insult. Well, there are a lot of dumb things that I've done as a kid. My mum's favourite being the time when i put clothes into the toilet thinking it was a washing machine (dont ask).

Kids are fun. Sometimes, I wish I was a kid again, to go back and do things right. Maybe I'll turn out much better then. But no, then I think. Oh crap! I've to relive all this again! Then I think, maybe its BETTER that I DONT become a kid again.

Who wants to write two board exams again?
Who wants to go through the whole process of learning to ride a bicycle? I mean. I hated LEARNING. Now that I know, I dont mind reading. Learning it was such a painful process. Its because I kept falling. I remember this one time I skinned my knee REALLY badly.

I've gotten hurt quite badly a couple of times. Take this one time. I was playing football on the road (Really hot. So, the road is hot as well right). Anyway, somebody plays me in with a fantastic through ball, which is quite hard, cause the road is really small. I was always a Ruud Van Nistelrooy fan, so I go.. RUUD! Will he finish.. he kicks.. and he stumbles.. falls.. ruud is sliding through past the makeshift goalposts (two stones) and ruud.. and the ball follows him.. GOAL!

Meanwhile, Ruud's leg is skinned real bad. you can still see the scars on my left leg. It took one week of going to the hospital and getting it dressed with magnesium something. hurt like hell.

but beat this.
a week later, Ruud is back in action. HE REPEATS THE FEAT!

I saw 300 today. Its crap. I recommend you dont watch it. Its crap. Did I mention its crap.
There is no plot.

Messenger 1: Give us earth and water?
King: Sorry man, this isnt an Inn.
Messenger: Xerxes asks you for earth and water.
King: well, if you go down the road, and take a right, you'll see an inn. ask for bob.
Messenger: EARTH AND WATER YOU FOOL.
King: What? you insulted me. and my wife.
MessengeR: I never insulted your wife..
King: You lying bastard. Meet me at the plains of godforsaken land by the sea. But wait, before that LET ME KILL YOU.
*pushes guy into the well*
King: THIS IS SPARTA. Not some random Inn!

King: I shall go seek the help of the council of elders, who are sure to refuse helping me. Especially since one guy is a selfish bastard.
Council: The weird guys with leprosy said you cant go
King: Yea, but look..
Council: NO . NO WAR. Lets just perish here instead. Much more fun.
King: Right, im just gonna take my bodygaurds who cant die.
Council: Oh well, no point in stopping him.

*Kings bodyguards go and kick the butt of a million men*

Xerxes: Man, this king is kicking my ass. And this weird costume isnt helping me think.
Freak: Help me, and ill help you.
Xerxes: Oh lord, someone take this monster out of my siight!!
Freak: You bitch, listen to me.. I can help you beat that guy.
Xerxes: Okay okay, blindfold me first though. Geez, and I thought I was a freak. All because of those GROW LONG tablets dad made me have.
Freak: I'm beginning to wonder why I'm helping him.
Xerxes: Right, I'll give you loads of hot weird girls if you help me out. I really dont know WHY these hot girls listen to me. I could well be a girl, if not for my freaky voice.
Freak: yea yea.. just shut up and follow me alright?

*Freak, who is a traitor, helps Xerxes kill our King friend*

King: Ahh, tell the story of the brave 300.
Weird Director: Sure, let me convert it into a boring movie.

I'm a bit late writing this review, but.......
Iron Maiden is back. Not only is Iron Maiden back, but they’re here, for the first time. Rather, they will be here on March 17th. Those of you who want to go but haven’t bought your tickets, please visit www.ticketpro.in. I’m not so sure about the availability of the tickets.

Anyway, the show is part of their “A Matter of Life and Death tour”. The tour revolves around their 14th Studio Album – A Matter of Life and Death. There was much excitement amongst fans because this was Maiden’s 14th studio album, twice the number of Maiden’s 7th album – Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. Rumours had it that this was going to be a Conceptual Album, but it is not.

The album cover seems pretty cheesy to me, but it is certainly better than its predecessor – Dance of Death. Eddie standing atop a tank with zombie skeleton warriors isn’t my idea of a great album cover, but Maiden has never been known for good album covers.

The album starts off with the song Different World, that’s when it strikes me, “Damn, Maiden has done another Dance of Death.” It isn’t so; the first song somehow reminds me of Wildest Dreams from the Dance of Death album. This is probably because I find both songs to be poor album openers compared to the other album openers. It is certainly not in the same range as that of Moonchild or Caught Somewhere in Time. Don’t get me wrong. I think the song is quite catchy, a sing along type chorus. I just didn’t think it is the perfect song to put as the album opener.

The second song, well, it never aroused much interest, one of two songs in the album which I rarely listen to and skip most of the time. “These Colors Don’t Run” is a quote from Bruce Dickinson’s rant in 2005 at Ozzfest after the Egg throwing incident. Well, the song doesn’t have anything to do with eggs or Ozzy or Sharon Osbourne even. The song describes a soldiers feelings as he is about to leave for war and gives his view of why he joined the army. The line “For the passion, for the money, for the glory, for the memory” clearly indicates that.

Brighter than a thousand suns, well, the song title itself is a line from Judas Priest’s Painkiller. And the song is mind blowing. This album is pretty much about long songs, three of them clocking over 8 minutes. Brighter than a thousand suns is one of them. The song is about the nuclear bomb. The explosion obviously is what resembles the light from a thousand suns. The lyrics of the song are good, but not great. All in all, BTATS is a song that clearly defines the album.

The pilgrim follows next, with riffs and melodies that remind me of the sands of Arabia. I suppose that’s what it is supposed to do, because The Pilgrim seems to be about the Templar Knights or at least set in a period of religious turmoil. We will have to wait for Maiden to confirm that. This is another song with quite a catchy chorus, and Bruce sounds fantastic.

The Longest Day, well, when I first played the song, and heard about a minute of it, I thought, this song is great. I wasn’t disappointed by the rest of the song either because it is fantastic. The song gives a soldier’s thoughts as he sits in the ship, awaiting a landing, probably Normandy. The lyrics, as usual are very realistic and the chorus is something that makes you feel sorry for the soldiers doing an empire’s dirty work

“Sliding, we go, only fear on our side,
To the Edge of the wire
And we rush with the tide
Oh the water is red,
With the blood of the dead
But I’m still alive, pray to god I survive”

Out of the shadows is one of the introspective songs that Maiden put on practically all their albums. We had Rainmaker in Dance of Death and Blood Brothers in Brave New World. The song, like its predecessors on the other albums, does not disappoint. My first thought as I played this song was, “Oh, Bruce has a cold, why is he singing”. I think he does this purposely. What? Sing like he has a cold, you’re asking? No. He’s given the song a particular effect with a nasal twang. I know it sounds ridiculous to you, but listen to the parts other than the chorus, it doesn’t sound like the Bruce singing on the other songs.

The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg, well with a name like that you’d think the song was crap. You’re absolutely right. The song is pretty stereotyped. A Dave Murray written song, clearly realized thanks to the bluesy intro. The song was the first single from the album, quite a poor choice for a single. I wasn’t too enthusiastic about the album after I heard the song. Anyway, don’t get prejudiced about Dave Murray’s songwriting capabilities, he was the one who wrote Brave New World, Charlotte the Harlot, and Judas be my Guide. A poor effort this one though, the main riff is pretty ordinary and the lyrics seem to be the only saving grace. Who is Benjamin Breeg? God knows. If you want to know, ask Bruce when he comes down. If you’re going for the concert, start a chant “Who is Benjamin Breeg, who is Benjamin Breeg.”

For the greater good of God is a song that clock over nine minutes. The song is written by Steve Harris, it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out though. That’s because the song has got a bass intro, all Maiden songs with bass intros are written by Steve Harris (almost). The song itself is about religious wars. About how many people kill in the name of religion, and glorify themselves.

“A wolf in sheep’s clothing
Or Saintly or Sinner
Or some that would believe
A Holy War Winner”

The song is a typical Harris type song, and features a three guitar solo duel, which in my opinion is fantastic.

Lord of Light is the next song according to the album sleeve, and it is brilliant. I loved it from the first listen. It is fast, energetic and quite radio friendly. A bit like Wicker Man from Brave New World except that it is longer.

The legacy starts with acoustic guitar work and Bruce singing in a strangely eerie way. The song progresses with Harris putting out something different from his normal galloping bass. The song is again 9 minutes, and it is quite good. It is one of the best songs of the album.

Summing up, Maiden has changed nothing. It’s the same basic formula that rode them to success with Killers and The Number of the Beast. The only thing that has possibly changed is the fact that they are putting out longer songs, songs that clock over 7 minimum. This I think is in tune with people who like more progressive music nowadays. It is not progressive metal like Dream Theater or Rush, it is progressive heavy metal of Iron Maiden.

Iron Maiden rarely walks on roads with a lot of traffic. They are not interested in breaking into say, growl vocals, or perform live with an orchestra. Iron Maiden is Iron Maiden, and nothing anyone says or does, is going to change that. People can complain that they rarely change their style of music playing, or they use the same chords in most of their songs. Silly arguments I feel. I listen to Iron Maiden because I want to listen to good old Heavy Metal. If I wanted to listen to complex and progressive songs, I would throw on a Dream Theater or Liquid Tension Experiment disc.

The album is released by EMI and is available for Rs 350 (legally) or free (illegally). Or you can do both, like I did, download the album give it a listen, if you like it, buy it. Iron Maiden doesn’t have much against piracy. Bruce himself said, “Buy it only if you like it.”

“Ticking away, the moments that makes up a dull day”

Dull days always tick slower. It is an unwritten law of nature. Exciting/Fun/Any other day ticks much faster. I wonder why. It is probably psychological, but I’m not a psychologist or a therapist of any sort, so I doubt I should be dwelling on the weirder aspects of that.

Time is actually quite funny an aspect. I mean, do you know it exists unless someone told you how to read the days and how to look at a calendar. As a kid, you were told, “this is the minute hand, that is the second hand and the other is the hour hand”. I used to like the hour hand. It was small. I’m still small.

No seriously though. How do you know time exists? If someone hadn’t told me that time exists, I wouldn’t bother looking into it too much. Let us just say, I wouldn’t have been one of the “great inventors of the world”, even when there was everything left to be invented/discovered.

Discovery; it mostly happens by accident, and then the people who discovered it are revered and honored like Gods. I wish I could discover something. At most when I’m doing a problem in math, oh God, please let me discover that the answer in the text book is wrong. But no, God doesn’t grant me that wish either. I suppose there’s a reason for that. He probably may want me to prove that MATH DOESN’T EXIST!

*Insert funky Chinese Music here*

I have nothing against math. It is just that I could never do it right. I wouldn’t mind doing math if I didn’t have an examination to prepare for. I mean, it is pretty interesting isn’t it. You’ve to use your head a lot. Then again, I wouldn’t mind doing anything so long as I don’t have an exam to prepare for. Accountancy, Business Studies (Commerce, for those who haven’t read the name on the textbook), English (err) or Math, would be so much more fun.

You know what would be an effective way to grade you? Not telling you that they’re grading you and doing it in secret! Ah, that would be great; no one would pass/achieve great things. There would be no achievers and there would be no under achievers. There would just be people.

How I long for a time when people aren’t breaking their necks, just to prove that they’re better than the other person in the world. Actually, I’m not so sure I would want that, because that’s the primary element that keeps sports running.

Would Man U care to finish top in the table if it didn’t matter? No, I don’t think so. So it should be that it matters in sports and doesn’t matter elsewhere. Ah, what a life!

The most wonderful part of every year for me is without doubt, the monsoon. I love it when it rains. It rains almost everywhere in the world, but rain is most beautiful in Kerala.

My earliest memory of the monsoon is as a kid. When we used to get weekends off, on Saturdays, I would come to the front of the house and sit on the chair three times too big for me and stare outside at the downpour. I would prefer not to be disturbed while doing so, and the maid at home used to be a little concerned. I was probably around 5 (the furthest I can remember). How often do you see a five year old sit on the porch and watch the rain?

It used to be fantastic having to go to school in the rain. It gave me an excuse to get wet. Of course, I used to travel to school by an overcrowded auto rickshaw, but I did my best to get wet all the same. I would leave home wearing a new raincoat (I would invariably lose one every year), or with a new umbrella, either mum or dad escorting me to the front gate. Often I used to have my sister with me in the auto, but there was a period when she shifted schools, so I had to travel alone (ironically, there were about 13 people or so squeezed into the auto).

The auto driver would do his best to make sure that we kids wouldn’t get wet. There was a plastic sheet (blue in color and very dirty I might add) which used to cover both the entrance to auto and the “window”. I used to sit near the window because the sheet wouldn’t completely cover the window because up front the driver (his name was Sebastian) would have to stick his hand out occasionally to indicate the direction he was going to go in.

Of course, the most fun part of going to school was gone. The Physical Education period was gone, when we used to run like mad people on to the field and play a game of cricket. We couldn’t play cricket in the rain, and none of us were football crazy. So we used to sit in class and play indoor games, mainly ones that we made up. There was “chess” (not the real thing, but one that involved a 3 by 3 matrix drawn on a book and a few items such as erasers and sharpeners), Name Place Animal Thing (a fascinating game which increased my knowledge) and word ending (which could be played with normal words or with countries, places, etc). There was also the occasional rebel who used to run around the class and play indoor cricket with a few people he bullied.

Coming back to the topic, I wonder why people hate the rain nowadays. It makes life difficult in a couple of ways. It stops traffic, can cause power cuts (we didn’t have power for three days last year due to a storm) and generally make life hell. But isn’t that the wonderful part of rain, the fact that something as simple as water, can take you away from all these modern inventions and necessities and make you invent new (or recreate old) ways to entertain yourself?

I mean, last year, as I mentioned, we didn’t have power for three days. Terrible storm it was, it happened when I was out. I got wet obviously; I enjoy walking in the rain. Anyway, we didn’t have power, and so going online was ruled out, turning on the TV was ruled out. My source of music was cut off because the computer couldn’t be turned on. So what did I do, I called a friend over and we played scrabble. I practiced on my guitar more frequently. I wrote a couple of poems (about the rain, if you must know). And I also went for walks in the rain.

I love walking in the rain. It refreshes your senses and clears your thoughts. Of course, if you are walking in the rain, I recommend you wear three fourths or shorts. Do not wear jeans, the bottom will get dirty and it will just annoy you throughout your walk. Don’t wear sneakers, floaters are fine and preferably water proof ones. I mean the ones that don’t absorb water.

Walking in the rain in my opinion is the most effective way of relaxing. Especially in West Cochin, when it rains, it practically brings life to a stand still. So there’s very little traffic around, which is a good thing for your walks. No traffic, no noise, more time for thinking. Thinking about what you may ask. Anything, think about anything; The India US Nuclear Deal, the Railway Budget, your past, your future, your present or even why you like walking in the rain. For those who live in Kerala, if you haven’t tried it. Try it this monsoon.

While walking in the rain, you meet an occasional nut who will ask you why you’re walking in the rain and will suggest to a friend or relative that you are mentally unstable for walking in the rain. In Kerala, it is impossible for people to mind their own business. For example, yesterday mum looked out of the window and saw someone walking. The person looked like someone we knew, so mum thought it was him. The man came down the road leading to our place and mum shouts to dad “Just check if it is so and so.” It wasn’t so and so, it was probably some man walking to reduce his weight, something I might suggest to both mum and dad.

Anyway, the people who call you insane don’t worry about them. Just ignore them. They don’t know what they’re missing out on. What is better than walking in the rain is walking immediately after the rain, before the sun comes out? After the rain, there’s a beautiful smell that fills the earth. The smell supposedly attracts snakes, but I don’t care. I’m with the snakes on this one. The smell is heavenly.

For all those people who haven’t witnessed the Kerala Monsoon, I say, come down here and experience it. Its magnificent, it is beautiful. Do nothing other than stare at the rain falling down from the heavens.