In her Majesty's Secret Service






Granted, Daniel Craig is the most unlikely Bond (James Bond..to you) in the world. Lets inspect though, are you judging AFTER watching the movie or before? If you havent watched the movie yet, bang your head against a brick wall and hope to die.

I owe Daniel Craig an apology, though the chances that he is reading this is less than zero. Mr Craig, you have played Bond in the movie Casino Royale brilliantly. He is the most human bond. Susceptible to errors unlike the other Bonds we know who are suave, smart, sexy and never wrong.

This Bond, having just been promoted to "double O" (license to kill) status, is prone to mistakes. He gets himself caught on camera while blowing up an embassy and he also drinks poisoned martini. Not something you would catch Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan or even Roger Moore doing, I'm sure.

Most of the movie revolves around a high stake poker game. The villain (no, not Daniel Craig) has invested a lot of money from terrorist organisations in the market and because our man Bond ruins his well thought of plan, he loses over 10 million. So this villainous chap decides to have a high stake poker game. Who wins? Does Bond hunt the man down after he wins the game or does Bond win the game?

Interestingly, Bond falls in love with a very interesting personality played by Eva Green. Another personality I never thought would find a place in a Bond movie, but obviously I was wrong.

Bond isnt the only one prone to error, the entire of MI6 is, as you will find out when you progress through the movie.

To Mr Craig : I'm sorry

To Movie goers : Get watching.

Draw two

Valentin Ivanov had quite an eventful game on 26th June (Indian Time). He played cards, deadly game for the players (*cough* football players). They of course suffered and acted and simulated and did everything they could to make the other team get more cards. The point of this game was to make the opposing team draw as many cards as they could and Ivanov was quite generous, handing out whenever he could.

Chelsea versus Barcelona, of course, you may wonder what I have for these sort of games. So I’ll tell you, nothing in particular. I thought Chelsea played decent football yesterday, and Barcelona still a shadow of their last year’s team. The game of course ended in a draw (2-2) with Drogba equalizing for Chelsea in the 93rd minute. Jose Mourinho for a second thought he had scored the goal and went in for a series of celebrations. Frank Rijkaard on the other hand just got furious with the officials decision to add on 6 minutes of injury time. I don’t blame him. If I were in his place I would have jumped down the referee and the fourth official’s throat (beg your pardon, I didn’t get the referee’s name thus far).

Referee’s are in the game to ensure smooth play. Not to stop the game when its building up at Central Midfield. Rough tackles happen in midfield, especially when clubs of the standard of Chelsea and Barcelona play. Both do their best to ensure a win for their club, even if it resorts to slightly unpleasant methods. When I talk about unpleasant methods, I’m not only talking about rough tackles, but also its direct opposite, simulation.

People regard Chelsea as a diver’s club more than a footballing one, but Barcelona seemed to have taken a couple of lessons from them with regard to yesterday’s match. Deco fell to the floor, supposedly injured and was writhing around when next second the ball was hit at him by someone (again, I forget who) and boom, he’s back on his feet and ready to fight.

The refereeing for yesterday’s game was bad, to say the least and piss poor in the extreme. Bad tackles went unpunished and good tackles were taken into the book. Carlos Puyol lifted his boot to the shoulder of a Chelsea player (cant remember who), which definitely should have been a yellow card, but nothing was given except a free kick to Chelsea. Ricardo Carvalho, inadvertently (perhaps), kicked fellow Portuguese player Deco in the thigh and got away with it, and this time, I don’t think Deco was acting.

Frank Lampard got a yellow card for walking. I kid you not, a (second) yellow card was supposed to be given to Ashley Cole, who would have headed for the showers had Frank Lampard not walked right in front of the referee and Cole. Luckily for Cole and unluckily for Lampard. Watching the replay, it was quite clear that the card was intended for Cole, but Lampard walks into the frame and screams something at someone (possibly a fellow player) and goes into the referee’s book.

Bravo Ref! I always wanted Chelsea to be looked into closely by the referee’s because of their talent for acting, led by Arjen Robben of course, the Olympic Diver. Robben is a powerful winger, and very easy to go to ground, even if there’s no contact. Thus far, I’ve never seen him go into the book for simulation. Didier Drogba happily elbowed a few Barcelona players yesterday. The referee called a few shots, but at all the wrong times. He didn’t nip arguments when it was required of him and he was not lenient on the softer tackles.

A case against Barcelona, young boy Lio Messi, comes into the spotlight, not out of the ordinary, but a piss poor way of making yourself famous. A fight erupted and both Chelsea and Barcelona players gathered round, no doubt passing death threats to one another, but Lio Messi goes one step further and tries to push Khalid Boulahrouz off his feet. Needless to say, he doesn’t succeed, Boulahrouz nearly being double his age and his size.

One bad decision by the ref is all that’s required to make the game go hay-way. If he penalizes someone for a soft tackle, he has set himself a standard. Any tackle on the same level or even a little rougher, has to be taken into account. The little rougher one’s going into the book for a yellow card and the “real rough” ones, which would have been a yellow card in any other game, would see red.

Ace referee Pierluigi Collina says it best, “We aren’t enemies. There are two teams playing and the role of the referee is to help them play better”.Till then, we see yellow and red.

Chelsea kills football

It took one moment of magic from Didier Drogba to seal the deal for Chelsea and European Champions Barcelona. Then again, for Chelsea, it always takes only one moment of brilliance isnt it, and its most always from Drogba.

The Ivory Coast international deceived Barca captain Carlos Puyol with a fantastic touch and slammed the ball into the back of the net, leaving no chance for Barca keeper Valdez.

One moment of brilliance, I was on the edge of my seat. And then the game settled to its normal pace, with Barca enjoying most of the possession, though not doing anything very productive with it. Barca played one of their worst games of football last night.

Chelsea didnt play very entertaining football either. Both played very mediocre football. Though the reason I lash out at Chelsea is because of this:

Chelsea is a team with a large number of attacking options. Midfielders like Arjen Robben, Michael Ballack and Frank Lampard are some of the biggest names in the world. Then why is it that Chelsea always seems to win on a 1-0 margin, unless they get free chances. Do they forget the fact that they have to attack and decide instead only to defend and keep the ball in midfield? Or is it because they feel they dont need to attack and leave their defence (a little) unprotected.

Chelsea, as far as I can tell, is not a team that needs to worry about their defence. Captain John Terry and the rest of the defensive company is assurance enough that the defence is well looked after. Petr Cech is by no means a bad goalkeeper, nor is Carlo Cudicini. Even Hilario, whom the papers took after, isnt a bad keeper. Claude Makelele does ALL the dirty work in

Makelele does the dirty work

midfield, wins crucial tackles, nips the attack of other teams in the bud. Then WHY cant Chelsea win with more than a 1-0 margin.

Didier Drogba and Andriy Shevchenko are a threat to any defence, even Italian, though the latter isnt troubling many defenders with Chelsea. Shevchenko is a 30+million waste at the moment. The Chelsea midfield cant provide enough through balls for him to survive on, a move to Arsenal would have made more sense, if Arsenal were willing to buy.

I'm pretty sure a time will come when Chelsea thinks they've won the game after scoring one goal, even if their opponents are two goals up. This would be playing in the team's mind :


Shevchenko signing up for a goal drought

"Oh well, thats our goal tally for the day, lets defend now"

Because of the absence of a youth system, I doubt Chelsea will last in the Premiership, especially when teams like Reading, Aston Villa, Tottenham Hotspurs and Everton are playing with so much passion.

Anyway.. so i realise i havent come to my own blog for a long time.. and now is the first time in about two months or so..
anyway.. i just gotta speak a few random words
i had to go for this Young World Quiz thing. so i went.. and you know.. im thinking there are gonna be chicks and all.. so i decide to wear my epaulets and my head boy badge and EVERYTHING and go to the place.

the place was DEVOID OF THEM. sorry if you were there and feel insulted.. but couldnt you MAKE YOUR PRESENCE FELT (OR SEEN)>?>??

I finished reading Shashi Tharoor's Five Dollar Smile.. I think its quite funny.. some of the stories.. i just love the way he captures the malayali mindset in some stories.. couple of things you ought to know if you come to kerala

Staple Food : Rice.. (yuck.. i suppose anyone would say that about their own respective staple foods)

Politics : The party who bribes the most wins.

Work: Laze around .. pretend to be important

Health: Okay.. not bad.. but any problems, blame the mosquitoes

Favourite Colours: RED

Ideology : Nobody knows the meaning

How to travel : Well, it would be better if you took a bus everywhere. But then you have to know how to tell the conductor the name of the stop correctly otherwise he would ask you a million times. Students get a concession on tickets, but only if they are in uniform on days the Government does not declare holidays. If you happen to be travelling on a day its not a holiday.. please pretend to ignore the conductor after you pay him the fare.

How to communicate: The people of Kerala are literate. They understand most languages, but that doesnt stop them from passing remarks if you dont speak Malayalam.

Favourite Sport : Politics, aside from that Football.

Reasons why I think Mathematics is female

1) It is unnecessarily complex
2) There are about a million ways to do the same problem, but NOT GET THE SOLUTION!
3) Women can multiply problems .. Mathematics has multiplication as well
4) Women can subtract money .. Mathematics has subtraction.
5) You never understand a thing a woman says.. its the same with maths
6) You cant live without maths.. you cant live without women either.

right
being 17 is no different from being 16. I know ive just experienced one day of this.. but its the same shit.. everyone wants to grow up.. be 17-18.. you LIVE THE SAME LIFE GOD DAMN IT.. the angel of money and parties isnt gonna come to you and say "look.. you're 17 now.. here.. you can have a credit card with infinite credit and party everyday while i look at your books and make you pasS"
NOOOOO
ok.. thats that
but otherwise.. it isnt that bad.. atleast you know you lived till youre 17/// i mean.. you know..

In an unprecedented move.. I have decided that I will stop listening to Iron Maiden.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! yeah right

anyway.. Ive been away almost the whole day I guess.. Its been kinda tiring.. but you know.. its better than sitting in the house and rotting.. and farting..

ive never been much of an outdoorsy person because i spent most of my life with my most favourite person in the world inside the house - the computer. so i had a childhood deprived of sports..

but ive started playing them now.. except for basketball in which i can barely pronounce the players names' let alone dribble the ball without committing one of the million fouls (doubling, shifting, violation etc etc) too many fouls to remember

thats the good thing about football.. if you're italian.. you can think that the ref wont see you elbow a player while jumping for the ball.. and when the guy falls down with blood coming from his face.. you can pretend innocence.. there are too few players in basketball to commit such a heinous crime.

or if you're french.. learning to headbutt your opponent is a good option. of course.. this can only be done if you're a world class player cited by many as the greatest player ever playing in your last game ever

anyone else will fail miserably (ie. they wont get caught)


Note: 200 people in the world dont know the meaning of headbutt.

there's a inverse relation between violence at home and marks at school

The greater the marks .. the less violence

Ok, so recently, in a shouting match, which involved a few things thrown at each other.. I am subdued. not too much.. but enough not to go for the Independence Day ball which was yesterday..

But its not like the I-Day ball would have been fun for me or anything.. not many people from school went.. I wouldnt have known many people.. plus I cant dance.

Its easy to say "Learn".. yea.. well its like telling an elephant to learn to dance.. okay.. i dont look ANYTHING like an elephant.. but im pretty sure an elephant and I could have a good dancing competition .. and he'd win..

I wasnt born to dance. I was born to headbang.. go in a wild frenzy.. banging my head (not literally).. around.. long hair (not yet) floating .. hitting other people in the face with that same long hair and then hearing them complain about the stinging.. yep.. thats what i was made for..

then the next day.. neck pain.

Hips dont lie - Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean

I dont know how much input came in from shakira.. i mean.. okay.. so the video has her shaking her butt and all.. wow.. quite nice.. etc etc..
has anyone noticed how much SINGING she actually does for the song? no.. welll.. she sings the chorus..

why the hell is the song called Shakira feat. Wyclef Jean then?? it should be Wyclef Jean (and a whole lot of other guys) feat Shakira..

nope.. its the other way around..

boom

songs are wierd.. so are bands
for example.. green day releases an album mocking the scene of pop today.. but they're mainstream shit.. now they cant sell without MTV !

contradictory

List of Sell Outs (in my opinion)
Ozzy
Kiss
Metallica
Green Day
Slayer

thats about it.. for now..

And we have exams.. tommorow is economics.. half of us dont know what these three million lines are going up and down a book.. i mean.. price increases demand decreases.. plot graph and shit like that.. rationale for P = MC

apparently "A decline in the total availability of food leads to widespread starvation and famines"
Gee whiz.. really?
Its like saying.. many many dogs involved in amorous acts will lead to an increase in the dog population.. like duh.. wake up

i mean how dumb can you get..
Amartya Sen wrote that.. and I could have written the same but nobody would have looked at it the same way!



Note : An increase in the users of internet will lead to an increase in the number of blogs



45% of people reading this are wasting their time.

So I recently joined Orkut.. and I realised its the greatest thing that happened to man after google.. i mean.. of course.. google and orkut are by the same people (google) .. I found so many people on Orkut.. and a hell of a lot of wierdos as well.. with a name like "Im off for 3 weeks" .. yea i pity the guy as well..
anyway the secret of orkut is donuts.. everyone knows that donuts are the source of power in orkut.. if you eat donuts in the morning then you can perform more on orkut (like determine who is gonna add you in the next 24 hours).. I know you guys didnt know that part.. I mean.. the god damn SERVER runs on donuts..

Bad Bad people.. no donut for you