List of my favourite movies

  • American History X
  • King Kong
  • Kingdom of Heaven
  • Passion of the Christ
  • The Terminal
  • Operation: Daybreak
  • The Great Escape
  • Mackenna's Gold
  • Blood Diamond
  • K-Pax
  • Hotel Rwanda
  • Lion King
  • Independence Day
  • I am Sam
  • Mystic River
  • Troy
  • Black Hawk Down
  • Gladiator
  • Star Wars Series

Sunday, April 01, 2007

I saw 300 today. Its crap. I recommend you dont watch it. Its crap. Did I mention its crap.
There is no plot.

Messenger 1: Give us earth and water?
King: Sorry man, this isnt an Inn.
Messenger: Xerxes asks you for earth and water.
King: well, if you go down the road, and take a right, you'll see an inn. ask for bob.
Messenger: EARTH AND WATER YOU FOOL.
King: What? you insulted me. and my wife.
MessengeR: I never insulted your wife..
King: You lying bastard. Meet me at the plains of godforsaken land by the sea. But wait, before that LET ME KILL YOU.
*pushes guy into the well*
King: THIS IS SPARTA. Not some random Inn!

King: I shall go seek the help of the council of elders, who are sure to refuse helping me. Especially since one guy is a selfish bastard.
Council: The weird guys with leprosy said you cant go
King: Yea, but look..
Council: NO . NO WAR. Lets just perish here instead. Much more fun.
King: Right, im just gonna take my bodygaurds who cant die.
Council: Oh well, no point in stopping him.

*Kings bodyguards go and kick the butt of a million men*

Xerxes: Man, this king is kicking my ass. And this weird costume isnt helping me think.
Freak: Help me, and ill help you.
Xerxes: Oh lord, someone take this monster out of my siight!!
Freak: You bitch, listen to me.. I can help you beat that guy.
Xerxes: Okay okay, blindfold me first though. Geez, and I thought I was a freak. All because of those GROW LONG tablets dad made me have.
Freak: I'm beginning to wonder why I'm helping him.
Xerxes: Right, I'll give you loads of hot weird girls if you help me out. I really dont know WHY these hot girls listen to me. I could well be a girl, if not for my freaky voice.
Freak: yea yea.. just shut up and follow me alright?

*Freak, who is a traitor, helps Xerxes kill our King friend*

King: Ahh, tell the story of the brave 300.
Weird Director: Sure, let me convert it into a boring movie.

3 comments:

saras said...

am I glad I didnt see this movie

Anonymous said...

A kid just recommended it to me,lol.

Anonymous said...

I just saw that you left a comment on my blog, so I clicked on your name and was surprised to find myself at this Blog. I visited here earlier today.

This review was hilarious! I haven't seen the movie (I have a huge TV so I have only actually been to a movie theater four times in the past 7 years - for the Ring Trilogy 3 times.)

I've seen the ads and it looks like video-game graphics and comic-book action. I like a good comic book movie as well as anyone (Hellboy was great!) but if you are going to do a historical drama, how about some realism.

Thanks for the humor. Now I definitely know not to watch it.